Friday, December 30, 2011

Change...For A Time

BoreTown..the most boring place I've ever lived in. I was thoroughly disappointed in this college town, considering people in MacTown that were familiar with it ranted and raved "oh, you'll love it there!". I hated it. From the moment I pulled into my dilapidated rented trailer, I knew this wasn't going to be home for long. The fact that I had a hard time finding somewhere to live was bad enough. The trailer came through 2 days before I was released from training, and I was very appreciative that I didn't have to pay for a hotel until I found a place, but still, something just didn't quite set right with me about that whole place. I have this "sense" that tells me when something's not right, and when I get that feeling, I'm on guard instantaneously. That's why I didn't retrieve all of my things from the storage in MacTown. I got the feeling that I just needed the bare necessities: something to sleep on (I got my futon), my TV & DVD player, a few cooking utensils, and a few bathroom items; all of my other furniture and things stayed in storage, and I lived out of boxes and suitcases. I couldn't get comfortable there no matter what I tried.

The job wasn't panning out like I'd hoped, either. It didn't help that my General Manager and I majorly clashed within my first 2 months there, and I begged the corporate office to transfer me out of there as soon as possible. Allegedly there was a waiting list for a transfer that could take upwards of a year, IF anywhere became available for me to transfer to. Yeah, right, you just couldn't find any other sucker to move to this God-forsaken place, so you want me to suffer until some other poor sap comes along. There was no way I was going to make it a year in that town, nor in that store. In the mean time, I had no choice but to try to tough it out until they either transferred me, or things became so intolerable that I had to look for another job. I preferred the former, but the latter was the inevitable.

I tried my best to make lemonade out of lemons, so I hit every possible scene that could have any type of attention grab in this populated town of 7,000. Being that this was a well known college town in the state (probably half of the population was college students), it couldn't be that hard, right? WRONG! BoreTown didn't have a reputation with me for having any type of good scenery or anything geared towards someone having a successful social life, and the guys there were definitely nothing to write home about. The ones that were decent were either too young, not my type, or not single. I could see that statistical ratio, because really, no interesting, attractive, "old enough" single person would live there by choice, unless they were there for a job...such was my case (have to toot my own horn on that). BoreTown was only 2 1/2 hours from the city I had trained in (We'll call it "Suburbia"), so on my off days, I would commute to the city just to get away from that hell hole.

I was getting more and more depressed day by day. Then I met "Kinley" and "Ashton". I was at the laundrymat, and had just finished loading my clothes into washing machines when they walked in. Kinley was an older gentleman (almost old enough to be my father), and I thought Ashton to be his son. Ashton kind of put me in the mind of Ryan Dunn from Jackass (add a thinner trimmed beard, and a better build), and he was the closest thing I'd seen to hot in these parts. I was embarrassed because I looked like a hobo. I had on a faded old t-shirt, a ratty pair of shorts, some sneakers that should have been thrown away years ago, and a purple scarf (that one of my dog's got after being groomed at PetsMart) on my head. In other words, I was a complete mix-matched mess. Being that I was familiar with the pool of guys that BoreTown had to offer, I felt no need to look "presentable", especially on laundry day. Little did I know that pipeliners housed there on occasion. The first thing I did when he finished loading his clothes was look at his ring finger. No sign of committal, so I stared in my trying-not-to-stare way. Good thing I had a book with me, I could hold it up to "read", and no one would be the wiser. Kinley sat in one of the chairs, and Ashton leaned against the door frame. I put my book down in my lap, then, because it would've been too obvious what I was doing at that point. They chatted with each other for a bit, and then Kinley broke the silence:

Kinley: Hello, young lady
(I knew he was talking to me, we were the only people in the laundry mat)
Me: (looking up from my book) Hello
Kinley: How are you doing today? (he had a husky loud voice)
(Ashton just watched us quietly with his arms folded)
Me: As soon as I finish washing and get out of here, I'll be doing good. (smile) How 'bout yourself?
Kinley: Ah, just enjoying a day off, trying to get some cleaning done, then gonna try to relax. Hey, what is there to do around here besides go to the casinos?
Me: That's a good question. I've been trying to figure that out myself for the last 2 months. I just moved here with my job, so I really couldn't tell you. Sorry.

He introduced himself and told me he was from southern Oklahoma, and they were in town for the next few months laying a pipline. Ashton was his co-worker from North Carolina. Kinley and I ensued conversation, while Ashton stood there quietly, looking at me. Like I said, I was looking extremely bad, so I was self-conscious at that point, and was nervously rubbing the scarf on my head like I could smooth my hair down under it. I was glad when my washing machines stopped, but hated that I had to walk past Ashton to get to them. I smiled as I passed him, and he slightly smiled back. I tried to unload my machines in a sexy way, but let's just face it, there's no sexy way to unload a washing machine unless you're in a mini-skirt and high-heels. I loaded my clothes in the dryer, and went back to my seat. Kinley and Ashton had begn talking to each other again, so I picked my book up, pretending to read, but was really trying to listen to their conversation. General man talk. Nothing about women. Hmm. Ashton's clothes finished washing first, and he loaded his clothes in the dryer right next to mine. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, there were only 7 dryers in the laundry mat, 3 of them were broken, and I had one occupied.

I didn't know that I the dryers only dried for 10 minutes per quarter, and I'd only put .50 in, so as I was checking my clothes to see if they were dry enough to take out, Ashton came to check his clothes, too. This was the first time he'd said anything to me since he'd been there.

Ashton: (smiling at me) Are they dry yet?
(OMG his eyes are gorgeously blue)
Me: (smiling) Not quite. I think I can give them another 10 minutes
Ashton: Yeah, I think mine need a few more minutes, too. Do you have any extra quarters I can buy from you?
(I just saw him pull out a handfull of them a few minutes ago...what the heck?)

I gave him a dollar's worth, put another quarter in my dryer, picked up my book, and walked out to my truck. Something about Ashton was making me nervous. I was attracted to him, and this wasn't a good thing. "Get it together, R" I thought. There was absolutely no way anything could come of me and him, so what was my problem? I stayed in my truck listening to the radio until my clothes were done, went back in to get them (didn't bother folding them), bid the guys a good day, and left.

I didn't think I'd ever see them again, so I didn't think about Ashton anymore. I'd forgotten that I'd told Kinley where I worked, and coincidentally, 2 days later, he needed a new laptop...

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Rewind

I'd had it. After several dates, a few sexcapades, and no real relationship since Anthony (if that's what that situation could be called), I was tired of dead-end, meaningless tirades. I was working on my second year in Oklahoma, and the closest I'd come to even remotely having something serious was "Kirt" who was looking for a substitute mother for his 3 kids but didn't want to invest the time nor energy into getting a relationship off the ground. Yeah, I didn't mention him, did I? Probably because that situation lasted all of a heart-beat in time, and wasn't even worth mentioning. But I can give you the briefing just so you know that I did actually try to have something meaningful.

During my times in MacTown, after my "relationship" with Anthony, my 1 night stand with Job, and before I met James, there was Kirt. I've mentioned MacTown's small population, so there was no Starbucks there. I practically bleed caramel and soy green tea frappaccinos, and the closest place to feed my habit was the big city of "Where It's At" (what I'll call it). It was about an hour and a half away from MacTown, and I'd drive up there bi-weekly just to get my nails done, do some shopping, hit up Starbucks, and see some real civilization. During one such trip, I was at Starbucks sitting on the patio, enjoying a caramel frappaccino, reading a book, and enjoying the nice weather. There was some construction going on in the building connected to Starbucks (it was in a shopping center) so there were a few construction workers constantly going in and out of the building. At one point, a tall, slender guy walked out to go to his work truck. I don't know what made me glance up at that particular time, but I did, we exchanged looks and brief smiles. My first impression was "wow, he's cute", but didn't really look like my type. I guess because he was slimmer than I was accustomed to, so there was no second thoughts. I sat on the patio for close to 2 hours (the book was really good, and I wanted to finish it), and Kirt passed by several more times. When I'd finished my frappaccino, and was wrapping up my reading to get ready to leave and head back to MacTown, he stopped by the rail that separated Starbuck's patio from the parking lot. I looked up, and immediately noticed that he was alot cuter than I originally realized. He gave me a crooked smile, leaned on the rail, and without an introduction of any kind, immediately asked "do you date white boys?". I was in no way prepared for this exchange, but, since I try not to let them see me sweat, I immediately put on my sultry, bat-my-eyes-at-him look and answered "yes, I do. Why do you ask?". Without another word, he reached into his work apron, tore off a sheet of scrap paper, and wrote his name and number down. He handed it to me, and said "call anytime", and walked back in the building. Just like that. I sat there stunned for a bit by what had just happened in that 2 minutes of time, but glanced at the paper, stuck it in my purse, and left.

I was smiling the whole time I was driving out. I'd never had a guy approach me out of the blue and just give me his number like that, so it was a bit exciting. Like I said, it was about an hour-and-a-half's drive home, so I contemplated when I should call him. I even solicited outside help on that question from my closest cousin who told me I should wait a few days, but, "waiting" wasn't necessarily a word in my vocabulary. When I arrived home, I took his number out of my purse and sat it on my nightstand, trying to figure out what would be a good time to call, after all, he did say call anytime. Around 8:30 that night, I figured he was home from work, and was hopefully settled in enough to where he could talk. I didn't want to call too late and catch him sleep.

I dialed his number, half way expecting him not to answer, and was mentally going over what type of message to leave him.
"Hi. This is R, the girl from Starbucks, and I was just giving you a call. My number is (xyz). Call me when you get a chance."
That sounded ok. But at about the third ring, he answered. I stammered out a "hello", and when he laughed, I felt at ease.

We spent the next 2 weeks conversing, and getting to know each other. I found out he was a single father, raising 3 kids on his own (with the help of his mom and his aunt), because his wife (their mother) had run off and abandoned them a few years previous for drugs and another guy. They hadn't heard from her in almost 8 months. I felt bad for his situation, but debated if I wanted to take on 3 kids at one time, being that I don't have any. And I had to look at the fact that even though his wife was gone, he was still legally married, and that still sort of made him off limits to me (to each his own on their thoughts about that). I eventually settled into the thought that it may not be as bad as I thought, after all, he had to be a good guy to accept that sort of responsibility, so I could only think he would probably make a good boyfriend, and possibly a good spouse, if the road led that way. Being that I know I have a tendency to get attached to children, though, I told him that unless he saw something potentially long term between us, I didn't want to meet his kids. He agreed, and said he doesn't introduce his children to a woman unless that's in the works. We agreed that my next trip to Where It's At would be an overnight trip for us to spend time together.

A couple of weeks later when I arrived at his house, I immediately knew the 3 kids that ran out to greet me were his. I groaned, because I thought we'd established an agreement on that, and here I am looking at an 8 yr old girl, a 6 yr old girl, and a 4 yr old boy wildly waiving at me and running around their yard. He walked out of the house just as I was turning my truck off and innocently smiled as he walked to my door to open it for me. I got out, gave him a hug, but jumped right to the case at hand:

Me: Hey, you. I thought you were sending the kids to your mom's for the night?
Him: Yeah, they're going. She lives right over there (pointing to a house about 150 yards away)
They wanted to meet you first, so I figured you wouldn't mind.
(great, he's assuming these things)

I made light of the situation, and started talking to the children. I knew I could get attached to them really quick, because his 6 yr old voluntarily gave me the biggest hug her little arms could muster, before he called to them and sent them to their grandmother's.

I'm not going to spend any more time on Kirt and his kids. That whole courtship lasted less than 2 months. I'd met his mother, his aunt, his aunt's husband, and spent more time with him and his kids (my second trip to see him, he decided the kids could start staying at the house with us), but soon into us dealing with each other, he decided that regular phone communication wasn't his thing anymore. It took one time for us to go a week without communicating, and telling me he didn't have to talk to me or text me on a regular basis for me to see that this wasn't going anywhere. So, I cut my losses. I'm glad I didn't get too attached to his kids..we'd done the whole "going out as a family" thing, but not enough had been invested to establish ties that were undoable...with him or his children.

And that was that. I wish I'd kept that mentality of "cut my losses and walk away...early". Somewhere along the line, I got soft and started developing easy attachments. Had I not gotten to that point, that probably would have spared me the heartaches and heartbreaks that you'll soon begin reading about, and how I really got to the point of being (not totally) jaded.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Rebounding Isn't Always A Bad Thing

I've learned that men talk just as much as women do. I know this, so I don't know why I let it surprise me when 2 men are in close proximity with each other, I've slept with one of them, and the other hears about it.

I accepted Junior's dinner invitation via Dave. I'm not stupid, and aside from his drunken night, Junior was making it more and more obvious that he was interested in me. I guess I should say at this point, I'm a firm believer in sexual chemistry, obviously I had it with Dave, but I wasn't feeling that with Junior. As I said before, he looked older than what I was used to dealing with, but I had no idea how old he was. I knew nothing at all about Junior's personal life. I decided I'd broach the subject during dinner.

Of all places in this city to eat, he wanted to go to Hooters. I'm still not sure what the rave is about that place (well, I can guess...and it's not the wings), but they do have some darn good fried pickles. We got our table, the guys ordered pitchers of beer, and I drank tea. I wanted to soberly remember everything that transpired that night, so I wasn't taking any chances on getting tipsy. The conversation was pretty light up through placing our orders. At some point, we got on the discussion of sex. Junior was on his third glass, so he was ready to open up, and that's when I found out that men talk amongst each other. He made some sort of snide comment about "It's one thing to get pussy, and another to get good pussy. Everybody's not able to have good pussy a stone's throw away". Dave nervously glanced at me, I looked back at him like "wtf? you told him?" Junior caught our silent exchange and started laughing. Dave picked up his beer, took a swig, and excused himself to go to the bathroom. No, I wasn't happy at first, but then it hit me, Dave must have said something good about me for Junior to make that sort of a comment. So, they gossip like little girls, do they? Lovely. Well, at least now I know that anything Dave and I do, Junior will know too, and if I get the chance, I'll give Dave something to really talk about. That'll teach Junior to try to be slick about letting me know he knows my business. But, damn..that's probably going to make him want me even more. I decided I'd just roll with it for the time.

Dave had returned to the table avoiding eye contact with me, and our food arrived at about the same time. Between munching on my fried pickles, I decided that since Junior knew more about me than I cared for him to, it was time for me to find out something about him.
Me: So, you've mentioned your son and all. Are you married?
Junior: My son's mother and I divorced (x number) of years ago
So, he's not married. That explained alot. We finally got around to mentioning his age, and found out he actually wasn't very old (closer to my age than I would have thought). That surprised me, but according to some of what he told me about his life, he'd led a not-so-easy one, so that explained why he looked older than what he was.

We finished dinner, they finished the last of their beer, and when the check came, Junior made it his treat. That was sweet of him. We got back to the hotel, unloaded out of the truck, and Junior said he was turning in for the night. Dave and I had a bit of an awkward walk to our wing. I could have asked him why he told Junior, but determined that I'd let it go, because my plan, if I got to put it into action, would speak more than anything. That chance came.

Dave invited me into his room again, and as soon as the door closed, I grabbed him, started unbuttoning his shirt, and kissed him like I was starving. He took my cue and followed suit, reached under my blouse and started trying to undo my bra. He was having a hard time with it, I laughed and took off my shirt trying to give him better access to the clasps. We fell back on his bed (him on top of me, like in a movie or something) as I wrapped my legs around him, undoing his jeans at the same time. Just as he was reaching into his pants for a condom, I stopped him, flipped him onto his back on the bed, and played mouth tease on him...starting on his neck, and working all the way down, planting soft kisses, and mildly sucking (I didn't want to leave any hickeys as evidence), until I was on my knees between his legs.
"Holy shit! Son of a bitch!" is all I heard before he tried grabbing me by my hair. He tried to raise up, but with one hand, I pushed him back to his back. I heard a whole slew of profanity for a while. When I slid my way back up, kissing and sucking the same trail I had made on my way down, he quickly flipped me onto my stomach. Next thing I knew, we were both out of breath, and he collapsed on my back, breathing heavily in my ear.

I waited until he was snoring before I got dressed and left his room. I had already made up my mind that would be the last time I dealt with Dave on that level. A little part of me knew nothing could ever become of us, for one, I was moving to BoreTown within 2 weeks, and for two, even though rebound sex can be good, I knew his heart was still with his baby's momma. My plan was to try to avoid them for the duration of my stay, but I didn't have to, because 2 days later, Junior came by my room to tell me that their company was sending them out early, and he asked for my phone number to keep in touch.

I didn't get to see Dave before they left, and last I heard, he and baby's momma had reconciled and gotten married after all...

Junior made good on keeping in touch. Little did I know what I was in for dealing with him....

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Darn My Flirtatious Ways

I tried not to think too much about Dave, being that he was off limits, there was no need to. And I didn't think about Junior at all. There were plenty of hot guys checking into the hotel regularly, and being that I had made friends with two of the clerks that worked there, they got into the habit of informing me when some eye candy had arrived. Not only that, but the city is full of delectable men, so, why is it that I couldn't stop thinking about Dave?

A week passed with neither sight nor sound of Dave or Junior, I don't know if it's because of our schedules that we kept missing each other, or if, for whatever reason, it was intentional on their end. On a Saturday evening, I was off work and out walking my children, Junior was sitting in the truck on the driver's side drinking a beer. I waived to him, and steered my girls in his direction so I could see how they were doing. He smiled when he saw me, voluntarily popped open a beer, and had the bottle held out to me as I approached. I thanked him, took it from him, took a swig, and asked how everything was going. He told me that he was doing fine, but Dave wasn't so much. I didn't want to be too nosey and inquire as to what was wrong, but I was secretly hoping it had something to do with him and his girlfriend. Junior confirmed my suspicions, saying that Dave was in his room upset because his girlfriend had just broken off their engagement, took their baby, and was moving out of their house. Wow, I wasn't expecting that. He didn't tell me they were engaged. My children had tangled their leashes around my calves, I went to take a step back and almost fell. Junior found this humorous and asked me if I wanted to ride to the store with him to get more beer. Of course I did. I took my girls back into my room, and ran back out to Junior with the truck running and waiting for me. I didn't really know what to say at that point. I didn't want it to be obvious that I was into Dave, but I didn't want to play it non-chalant that I didn't care that he was in a bad state of mind right then. I didn't have to make the conversation decision, Junior did. He began asking me about myself, which at the time I didn't realize were little "trying to get to know you" questions, like "what happened with my last boyfriend" and if i "ever want to get married again". I was answering, but I really didn't think much into it, because I wasn't trying to get to know him like that, and my mind was on trying to figure out if I wanted to console Dave during his time of despair. We made it to the store, and back to the hotel where Dave was standing outside by that time. He came over to my side of the truck after Junior parked, grabbed a beer from the ice chest, and leaned against the truck, starring straight ahead. Junior got out of the truck, and walked around, grabbed a beer and leaned next to Dave. I didn't know at the time, but Junior had bought a different kind than he had originally been drinking, it was something supposedly stronger. We didn't have to wait long to find out the effect it had on him. I declined another beer offer and sat silently with my legs hanging out of the truck while they made chit-chat about work.

After about the fourth beer, Junior started swaying like he was going to tip over. Dave was only on his second one, so he was fine. We both looked at Junior when he started staggering and looking like he was in a trance. Dave asked him if he was ok, to which Junior replied by giving him a blank stare, and then just fell over. Dave and I looked at each other in surprise, and I got out of the truck to see if Junior was alright. He was laying on the ground on his back mumbling something incoherent then started laughing, but he wasn't bleeding or anything, so Dave and I decided we needed to get him to his room. Dave took one side, I took the other, and we lifted Junior to his feet, and walked him towards his room. What shocked me was as we had our arms around Junior, Dave had adjusted his arm to where it was right around mine behind Juniors back, and began lighltly rubbing my arm with his fingers. I felt chill bumps run down my spine, and knew that Dave indeed had been thinking like me.

It was a slow walk through the hotel halways, because Junior kept stopping and falling to his knees. At one point he stopped and told us to just leave him right there, he couldn't make it any further, then stretched out in the middle of the floor. Whatever he drank gave him flatulence, too, because he passed alot of gas during that walk. I was trying hard to stiffle a laugh, but I eventually gave in and laughed about the whole situation. Dave started laughing, too. It was even more funny when some other guests looked out in the hallway and saw Junior laying there mumbling and farting. They were concerned at first, but when I assured them that he was just drunk, they looked puzzled, then started laughing because I was laughing.

We eventually got Junior off of the ground and into his room. We layed him on his bed and he started singing some song I'd never heard before. I took his shoes off of him, and when I stood up, he grabbed my arm and pulled me down on top of him and tried to kiss me. Dave just stood there. I let out a small scream and jumped off of him..that was not something I wanted him to be seeing. So, I told Junior that I had to go check on my dogs, he tried to stand up and grabbed for me again telling me he wanted me to stay with him. Dave was already at the door holding it open and looking at us. I managed to get his hand from around my wrist and told him that I didn't think that would be a good idea and I had to go. He made a grab for me again, to which this time Dave told him to let my arm go. Junior colapsed back on his bed and looked at us blankly. Dave told him to sleep it off, and he'd be back in the morning to check on him. I gave Junior a smile as I walked out. Once I was in the hallway, I started laughing again, and Dave, with his head down, just smiled.
I was crossed between thoughts at this point, and a conversation pursued something like this:
Me: Wow. That was crazy. Does he get like this on a regular basis?
Dave: (smiling, looking straight ahead) This is the first time he's gotten like this since we've been here. It was that beer. Someone told him about it, and he wanted to try it. I didn't care for it, that's why I didn't drink very much 
Me: Ah. I see. Well, it's good you didn't cause if it did him like that, I don't think I could've carried the both of you (nervous laugh)
Him: (smiles) Yeah. That wouldn't have been good
We walked in silence until we got to our wing. His room was before mine, and we both stopped in front of his door.
Me: Well, you have a good night then
Him: (unlocked his door, then looks at me) You calling it an early night?
Me: Well, I really don't have anything planned. Just going to the room, watch some TV and play with my girls for a bit. I'll probably doze off before too long
Him: You in a hurry to get to your room?
Me: (smiling) No. Why?
Him: If you're up for it, I would like some company. Just for a little while, if you want
That was all I needed to hear.

I smiled as I went back to my room later that night. Without going into details, I'd managed to put Dave into a deep sleep, to where when I got up to get dressed, he didn't even stir. I left him snoring, kissed him on the forehead, and tried to close his door without making too much noise.

I know I took advantage of a bad situation, but obviously, he'd thought about me just like I'd thought about him. I didn't know when I'd see him again, and thought that to be a one-time thing...that was, until a few days later when Junior sent him to my room to invite me to dinner with them....

Monday, December 26, 2011

Two's Company...Three's Congested

I trust everyone had a fair holiday yesterday. My day was spent sleeping, washing clothes, and at the gym before I had to go to work. That's how I preferred it (with the exception of having to wash), and that's how it was. True, for some, "there's no place like home for the holidays...", but because of my unconventional work schedule, I'm not always able to make it home to Texas to spend holidays with my family (I made it for Thanksgiving this year). I get invited to spend those times with friends here, but I really don't like "tagging along" and feeling like a "3rd wheel", so spending restful time with just my children is sufficient for me. I like my line of work (retail), but sometimes it can really kind of put a damper on the holiday spirit for me (we're open 365), so much so to the point that I say "bah humbug" to Christmas...I'm always just ready for it to be over. It gets really old really fast dealing with scrooge-type shoppers, and constantly having to change store decor, and as a manager, no matter how aggrevated I may get by either, I have to stay "positive". Those shoppers and constant decor changes are what pay my bills. I could possibly change careers to where I have more flexibility when it comes to having weekends and holidays off, but, I love my company, they've taken care of me for almost 3 years, and I like my bi-weekly work schedule, so for now, I'm sticking with it. And the one good thing about it is once I leave out of those doors at the end of my shift, I don't have to worry about any of it anymore...until the next time I clock in.

That's the same line of work that relocated me from MacTown to BoreTown. In transition, the company that I accepted the new line of work in temporarily sent me to another city (where I currently live) for 6 weeks of training prior to moving me to what-was-supposed-to-be my permanent store in BoreTown. This city that I trained in is where I met "Junior".

I hadn't established a residence in BoreTown yet, so I moved all of my stuff into a storage unit, and decided to look for a place while I was in training. The hotel that the company put me in was an extended stay facility, so it frequented guests that were on long term assignments for various jobs in this city. Junior was one of these people working for one of these companies.

One evening, I was heading in to my room (coming from the gym), and noticed 2 guys sitting in a truck in the hotel parking lot with their doors open and music playing rather loudly. Naturally, I glanced to see who these inconsiderate people were that had no respect for the otherwise quiet neighborhood. The guy sitting in the driver's seat caught my eye. We'll call him "Dave". I guess they noticed me, too, so I smiled and nodded in a friendly gesture. The passenger, whom I later found out was Junior, lifted his bottle of beer to me in greeting. Being that the driver had caught my attention, I took their exchange as an opportunity to do my "flirt" thing. I approached the passengers side and spoke. Junior, who had been leaning in the seat with one foot on the dashboard and the other hanging out of the truck, sat up and smiled at me. I didn't pay much attention to Junior at the time, because I was too busy trying to take in Dave's appearance. In a sitting position, he appeared to be at least 6ft tall, he had a head full of curly dark brown hair (I'm a sucker for a curly-haired guy), clean shaved, nice tan, "corn-fed-country-boy" build, and sparkling hazel eyes. I'm liking what I'm seeing. Junior wasn't a bad looking guy. He was a little shorter than Dave, darker complected, mullet-type semi-wavy hair, a build that looked like he's no stranger to hard work, but looked older than what I wanted to be involved with.

After the greetings were exchanged, Junior offered me a beer, and being that I wanted to get the story on Dave, I accepted. The three of us sat out in the parking lot drinking, having casual conversation, and listening to country music for about 3 hours. I found out they worked for a private company that builds silos, ovens, conveyor & assembly line belts for major manufacturing companies, and they were in town working for the next 2 months. Eventually, Junior decided it was getting close to his bedtime, as they had to be up early the next morning. I hadn't found out the information on Dave that I wanted, so, being sly, I asked where their rooms were. Just so happened, Dave's room was 3 doors down from mine, and Junior's was on the other side of the building. Yes! I advised him that we were going in the same direction, and asked if he wanted to walk with me. I noticed that Junior looked a little irritated by that, but said his goodnight and headed towards his room. Now I finally had Dave to myself, and could dig as deep as I wanted to before our 5 minute trek was up. I tried to be coy about the situation, but figured what the heck, and just blatantly asked him if he was married. I guess I caught him off guard with the question, because he gave a nervous laugh and started rubbing his jaw. I took that as a yes. He finally answered that he wasn't married, but he did have a "baby's momma" that he lived with back home, but they'd been going through a rough patch. That wasn't what I was wanting to hear, because in other words he was off limits. Oh well, he still made a good drinking partner. He walked me to my door, and caught me off guard by giving me a hug. I guess that was his way of saying goodnight and he enjoyed our little hang-out time. I returned the warm embrace, said goodnight, and watched him walk in the direction of his room. He glanced back a time, and something in his look told me that he wasn't done dealing with me.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Check....And Mate

It really didn't take me as long as I thought it would to get over Anthony. For the first month or so, I did call his phone anonymously (in case someone told him who was calling) just to hear his voice on his voicemail, and drove by his place a few times to see if there were any cars there that I didn't recognize (which would probably signify a new girl), but that grew old fast. I stopped caring sooner than I thought I would. I guess because it suddenly hit me that if he could choose drugs over me without even a fight to keep me and what we had, then why should I give a crap about him?

After my fling with Job, I somehow developed a new attitude. I determined that I needed to get my head on straight, get my life back on track, and make something happen for myself. That's when I met "James".

Okay, before you call me "sac-religious" for what I'm about to explain, keep in mind that I grew up with a father as a preacher, and I consider him a good man, and an example of what I want in a mate. No, I don't want to marry my father, but he treats all 4 of his daughters like princess' without overly spoiling us, he was a wonderful husband to my mother (their divorce was all her fault..she admitted it), and he's an awesome husband to my step-mom. So, naturally, a man that possesses (no pun intended) the characteristics and qualities of what I saw growing up will be attractive to me.

At the time, I was a manager at a well-known fast food restaurant, and James just so happened to come through my drive-thru one night. I'm pretty friendly by nature, and when I took his order at the board, my tone reflected that. But when he pulled around to the first window after placing his order, my mouth dropped wide open, and I went into overly-friendly mode. Job had nothing on him. Even with him sitting in his SUV, I noticed how devastatingly gorgeous this man was. Blond, clean-cut, piercing baby blue eyes, and a smile that lit up the night sky. I knew there was something different about him, but I couldn't place my finger on just what it was. One of the first things I did when he handed me the money was look at his ring finger...nope, no ring, and no ring tan-line. Either he's not married, or just doesn't believe in wearing jewelry. But since I didn't see evidence of committal, and there was no woman in the vehicle with him, that gave me the clearance to gawk (I'm a firm believer that men in relationships..no matter what the nature..are OFF limits). After he paid and went to the second window to get his order, I ran up there to be the one to give him his food. When he drove off, me and my closest girl friend, "Ann", immediately began talking about how hot he was. Ann was only 16 at the time, but she was no stranger to living a wild life, she had a 3 year old son. She was underage, and she was my employee (unprofessional, I know, but to this day we're still extremely close), but we still liked to ogle the hotties that would come through. After this stranger left, and we talked about him for a little while, I put the thought out of my head, thinking he was just another sexy customer to grace my restaurant.

About a week later, this stranger came back to my restaurant. This time I was at the front counter, and he came inside...alone. I remembered him immediately, put on my biggest smile, and gave him my warmest "restaurant" greeting. In exchange, he flashed that debonair smile at me. I thought my knees would give out right then and there. He placed his order, got his food, ate it, and after he threw out his trash, he came back to the counter. I had walked back to the office by that time, but kept an eye on him through the office window. The girl at the register came to the office and told me that he asked for the manager on duty. I was the only one there, and wondered what could be wrong. So, I checked my appearance in the office mirror (hey, I had to make sure there weren't any chicken nugget pieces stuck in my teeth), and went to see what he needed. There was that smile again. That breath-taking smile. I asked him how I could help him, was everything ok. He assured me that all was fine and his food was delicious, but he'd never seen me before and was wondering where I was from. I told him that I had just moved to Oklahoma about 4 months prior, and was yet getting to know the town. He introduced himself, and wanted to know if I attended church. I told him a bit about my background, my father being a pastor, but I hadn't found a church yet. Then he said something that nearly knocked my socks off. He told me that he was the pastor of a nearby church (THAT'S what the difference was. I knew it was something). I thought, there's no way a man this young and attractive could be a preacher and single. So, he did what any other preacher would do, he invited me to church. And I did what any other single woman that was invited to church by an attractive man would do, I went that next Sunday.

Granted, I still had no idea if this man had a girlfriend or a fiance or anything, but I wanted to, was willing to, and was going to find out everything I could about this man. I had determined already that I needed to get my life together again, and this could be the very reason why. It took that one Sunday for me to find out everything I needed to know about James. He indeed was single (divorced with 2 small children), no fiance or girlfriend, but I also found out quickly that there was a younger girl in the church that was in pursuit of him. We'll call her "Jezebel". Let the competition begin. I looked at it from this perspective:
* he and I are the same age (he's 3 months older than me)
* she's 8 years younger
* I was groomed in church and know how a preacher's mate is to be and be perceived
* she was the town hoar (her reputation preceded her through some of the guys at my job)
* he and I had a very similar christian upbringing
* she was clueless, just there to chase him (she joined his church 2 years prior, after meeting him at another church she attended)
* I know how to "act like a lady" and got along with everyone
* again, she was clueless, and had a stank attitude
Needless to say, for the entire time I attended the church, there was some thick tension between her and me. I'm sure it was obvious to those in the church that we mutually dealt with on a regular basis. We tolerated each other, and we were cordial with each other, partially because we sang in the choir together, and partially because we tried hard not to make it obvious that we both silently agreed to disagree over who would get him. Jezebel wasn't an ugly girl, and for lack of better description, she was fairly attractive...emphasis on fairly. She had long legs, was slender, had long pretty brown hair, but her complexion screamed for Oxy, and you could tell because she wore her face powder caked-on like it was applied with a garden trowel. Her only attribute that I considered topping me was the fact that she was slimmer than I was at the time. This is what set in motion my gym days and working-out.

Things went on like this between Jezebel and I for the better part of 9 months. I think James even realized the friction between her and me, but he never let on about it, and treated me like a "very" close friend. I started to get a little weary after a while, though. James' house was 2 blocks from my apartment, and I would pass by on my way home from work sometimes (okay, really, it was just a bit of a detour), and see Jezebel's car there almost every time I did. I figured there was more to them than what was being publicized. In fact, I was sure that there was.

I went on living my life, went out with guys I'd meet on occasion, but even though my gut feeling knew things wouldn't turn out between James and I the way I'd want them to, I still held on to a small piece of hope that maybe my gut could be wrong. I'll just say, in all my life, my gut hadn't been wrong up through that point.

Well, briefing, James' church secretary and I had become quite close rather quickly when I joined the church, and our birthdays are a day a part (she's 16 years older than me, though). She and I decided for the following year that we'd treat ourselves to a cruise together as birthday presents. I was offered a better job with another company during that time, and had to relocate shortly after we began planning. So, I left MacTown, moved to "BoreTown", and found out through the secretary that James and Jezebel married about a year after I left.

So much for my wishful thinking....Can't say the "better" woman won, but, everything is as it should be.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Did I Say "Usually"?

I spent a total of 1 year & 2 months in MacTown. The month after the break up with Anthony, I got a new apartment, and decided to make the best of my living situation. I lived a fairly sheltered life in Texas. My dad is a pretty well known preacher in that state, so, I tried my best (even though I wasn't very successful) to avoid the "PK" stereotype. In Oklahoma, where he isn't so prominent, I felt the freedom to do as I pleased without any recourse. So, I set out to do something I'd never done before...really let my hair down.

Now, being that I'd never had a 1 night stand before...ever..., I didn't know then what I know now, that a 1 night stand means just that, and afterwards there's no exchanging numbers or keeping in touch with the person. That defeats the nature of its being...a 1 night stand.

MacTown gives a choice of 2 "mainstream" clubs..1 hip hop/contemporary, the other a country bar. Even though I like alot of country (it had to grow on me), I was far more into hip hop/contemporary music at the time. So, I made sure I looked as cute as I could..a lace floral blouse, with a fitted blue jean skirt, and some cute little slide-on backless pumps. I was newly single, and on the rebound. Since I didn't know anyone except my co-workers (whom I wouldn't cross the "social" line with), I was swinging it alone, which was fine with me, because I had the confidence to pull it off. I walked in, looked around for a second, and then made a beeline for the bar. Keep in mind that MacTown's population is roughly 8,000, so this club's capacity of maybe 75 people was a good number, and it catered to straight & gay. I didn't realize it immediately, it took me seeing what I thought was a girl and a guy that turned out to be a girl and a girl making out at the far end of the bar. Back then, my version of a "strong" drink was a white russian, so I guzzled the first 3, and nursed the fourth before I was comfortable enough to make my way around the perameters of the club.
*Keep in mind, I'm from Texas where the alcohol is served at a much higher volume (i.e. 6 point beer..in Oklahoma, it's only 3 point) so it took alot more before my body began to register that there was alcohol actually entering my system*
By this time, several guys were starting to look good to me, but I had to be careful since I didn't know their sexual orientation. Side note: I have a gay brother, so my "gaydar" is usually on target, but I'd never had to turn it on in a "mixed" club, nor under the influence of alcohol. But, one thing I learned about MacTown, the gay men will let you know they are gay. So, there I am, walking around the dance floor with my drink in hand, starting to feel the music, and may have had a little sway going on. I did this for maybe all of 10 minutes before I made my way back to the bar to get another drink. I wasn't expecting "Job" to be at the bar. I'm pretty sure the alcohol had kicked in by now, but everything about Job screamed that he was neither gay, nor from those parts. He was tall, slender, goatee-like-I-like them, strawberry blonde, gorgeous sparkling green eyes, an amazing tan that was so obvious you could tell even in the darkness of the club, and I could tell he had a 6-pack under that button-down polo..physical perfection at it's best. A total babe. Yes, I stared. He caught me. And when he flashed that "perfect" smile at me, something told me I was in for a night like I'd never experienced before. So, I don't know why I was a bit surprised when he started a conversation with me:

Him: Hey there. You having a good night so far?
Me: Yep, and I think it's about to get better (ok, so, the alcohol had in fact kicked in)
Him: Good. What are you drinking?
Me: A white russian
Him: (to the bar tender) A white russian for the lady and a draft for me
Me: Well, thank you.
Him: No problem. The least I can do for one of the most beautiful ladies I've seen since I've been here
        (Ah, so he wasn't from these parts...this is just getting better and better)
Me: Well, I appreciate that. Where are you from?

Conversation went on like that over the next 2 drinks. I didn't want to guzzle those, because I was enjoying his company too much. Found out Job worked for a major oil company and was in town finalizing some things on some nearby drilling sites. I can't remember anything else he told me, because at that point, I was beyond tipsy..I think I was flat out drunk. I think he could tell, too, because after we finished our 2 drinks together, he asked me if I drove, and if I wanted to get out of there (of course I remember that). I did drive, he hadn't. Says he'd rode with some co-workers, but he didn't see them anymore.
*I am fervently anti-DWI...please don't ever do that!!*
In my stupidity (under the influence of alcohol) I offered to drive him back to his hotel. By 1 in the morning, MacTown roads are all but deserted (except the main highway), and the club was only 5 minutes from his hotel, so I said a little prayer and thankfully we made it there without any incident. He told me that I should just stay the night with him because he didn't think I should be trying to drive home in my condition. I agreed. We made it up to his room where he offered me a beer or some water. I was already drunk, so I declined the beer, but took him up on the water offer. I had started to sober up about 5 minutes into being there, because I wanted to remember everything about this man. He was too gorgeous to forget. He brought me a plastic hotel cup of ice water, and popped open his beer, then sat next to me on his bed. Lets just say his beer never got drank, and neither did my water.

We almost immediately started in on some heavy making out (gosh, he was so good with his mouth), clothes started coming off, and I knew what was to follow when he started fumbling through the nightstand looking for a condom. I'll spare you all of the in-between details of it and just say when I woke up around 7 that morning, I turned over, and he was still gorgeous. He was snoring lightly, so I tried my best not to disturb him when I got up. The curtains were closed so it was kind of dark in his room as I fiddled through the pile of clothes on the floor looking for my undergarments. Right about then, his hotel phone rang, and I froze. It startled me, but I didn't expect him to realize it was ringing. He did, and with his eyes still closed, turned over to answer it. I think he was oblivious to me being there. He muttered something about being "Mark" (wtf?? I thought your name was Job?) and he'll "be there in an hour". I was hurrying to put my clothes on by that time, and I guess he realized at that point that I was there, cause he sat up on his elbows and said "goodmorning beautiful. So, you weren't going to even tell me goodbye?" I walked over to him, kissed him on his forehead, and left...just like that.

Remember I said that 1 night stands were meant to be just for 1 night? well, 2 days later, I decided that I'd pay him a visit again, but when I called the hotel to be transferred to his room, I found out he'd checked out the same day I'd left him.

That's the last I've ever seen or heard from Job...or Mark...or whatever his real name was.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Usually, I'm A Good Girl....Usually

Hello, faithful readers! I apologize for my absence on yesterday, had lots of crap to catch up on, and as promised, I made up that gym time. Instead of my usual 1-1 1/2 hours, I invested 2 hours! The extra 30 minutes may not seem like much, to those that may also be gym rats, but believe me, the burn can be pretty intense in the first or last 30 minutes. I like to push myself, and am stoked that I finally accomplished a goal of 3 miles in 25 minutes on the treadmill!!  YAAY ME! It was sort of like a personal accomplishment thing that I'd set out to make when I was dating the military captain (you'll hear about him eventually), because he bragged about being able to do 3 miles in 23 minutes. To anyone that can do it in less time...good for you, but you can SUCK IT!! I'm happy with meeting my little goal, and maybe, just MAYBE if you challenge me, I might have to beat you! hehe. I'm competitive like that...

Anyhoo. Besides investing the extra time at the gym, getting my little cozy nest straightened, and getting some errands ran, I got to catch up on some much needed rest. Sometimes it seems that no matter how much sleep I get, it's just not enough..especially when Mother Nature is involved in the picture.

I did have a bit of disappointment happen yesterday, though. I tried to call an old friend that I hadn't talked to in forever, and both numbers that I had for him were no longer in service. I guess I left out when I met "Scott" during one of my pre-move visits to Oklahoma. Yeah, I encountered other times when Anthony didn't answer his phone when I was on my way, so being that I'd gotten kind of used to that by then, I just got in the routine of getting the hotel room, and just waiting til we made contact.

Not like (for the sake of giving the town a name, I'll call it "MacTown") MacTown had a plethora of hotels to choose from, but like any other town with a population bordering on roughly 8,000 people, and a major highway running straight up the middle of it, it had it's fair share. One particular time I chose a hotel just on the outskirts of MacTown, which is where I met Scott. He worked on a pipegang, and was heading to his car just after I checked in and was heading to my room. Me being the major flirt that I am can be, I immediately noticed this semi-short, but stocky, devastatingly handsome, head full of delicious looking nicely trimmed dirty-blonde hair, goatee-just-like-I-like-them hunk of a man with the prettiest crystal-blue eyes I'd ever seen. So, I did what any other woman who's pissed at her boyfriend at the time would do. Instead of heading straight to my room, I defaulted and headed back to my car, which coincidentally happened to be parked right next to his. He drove an older model Buick LeSabre, but it was extremely clean, and on closer inspection, I noticed he had a pair of black and white dice hanging from his rearview mirror. Ha! I had a pair of purple ones on mine (purple is my favorite color). Need I need more to strike up a conversation? I think not. The conversation went something as followed:

Me: Wow, so you're into the whole dice thing, huh? Do you actually shoot?
Him: (just about to get in his car but stops, and starts laughing) Naaa. I just like the look of them
Me: Ah, I see. Well, nice dice (<<-- lame, I know, but I couldn't think of anything else to say)
Him: (laughing) Thanks. (nodding in the direction of my car) I see you're into dice too?
                  (Lovely, he's continuing a conversation...I'm in!!)
Me: Naaa. I really just bought them for the color (laughs) By the way, My name is R (goes to his side of the car to shake his hand)
Him: Nice to meet you, R. I'm Scott. So, you in town for a while?
Me: (loving this exchange) No, just a couple of days. Here to visit a friend girl of mine and her kids (I'm such a stinker!)
Him: Cool. Well, I'm just on my way to the liquor store to get something to drink for me and my buddies. You drink?
Me: On occassion. But, if you're inviting me to the party, then, yes I do
Him: Yeah. What do you drink?
       (Up through this point, I hadn't been much of a drinker, so I really didn't know what to say..so, I took the easy way out)
Me: I'm not particular. What ever you're getting, I'm good with
Him: Budlight ok?
Me: Sure
Him: Okay, I'm in room (xyz), so, come by in about 20 minutes, okay?
Me: I'll get settled in my room and then be there with bells on
Him: (laughing) Ok, see you in a few

And thus was the beginning of my friendship with Scott. Granted, at any moment I knew Anthony could call, but I figured if he didn't I wasn't going to call him again. I had come for one purpose, and my agenda had probably just changed.

Nothing happened between me and Scott. We drank in his room with his buddies (I know my limits, especially around strangers), ate some bar-b-que they'd put on a portable pit on their room balcony, and I got to know Scott better. Found out all about his job, where he was from, told him the real reason I was in town (he didn't hold it against me, said he was glad Anthony hadn't called, although, he had, but I'd left my phone in my room...accidentally...who am I kidding??!!), had a few hours of an all-around good time, and then called it a night...in my own room...alone. They had to be up rather early for a 2 hour drive to their work site that next day, so they weren't making it a late night. It was a Tuesday, for petes's sake. I was heading home the next night and Scott said we'd probably miss each other, so we exchanged numbers before I headed to my room. (Long story short, we became really good platonic friends..he eventually got married, had a kid, and we lost touch)

Anthony did call the next morning questioning why I hadn't called him. I told him after I tried to call, I was so tired I'd went to the hotel and crashed. He bought it. I usually don't make it a habit of lying stretching the truth, especially to boyfriends, except when necessary. Anthony was the jealous type, so it was necessary. We spent a few hours together before I got on the road. Even though I didn't get to spend much time with him on that trip, I'd made a new friend...didn't know where that could head at the time, but Scott ended up being exactly what I needed him to be in my life...a true friend.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Roadtrip...Take II

Today has been a pretty cool day overall. Referring to my unconventional work schedule, I work 8 ten hour days, bi-weekly..so, in other words, I get all 80 of my hours in 1 week, therefore I only work 2 weeks a month, and have 2 weeks of down-time. It works out perfectly, considering all of my family is still in Texas, so I get to travel quite a bit and don't have to rush home to return to work. I like my schedule, and am content with my job.

This week is one of my down-time weeks, and today just so happened to be one of my friend's...we'll call him "Daniel"...birthday, who just so happens to be one of my ex-boyfriend-turned-great-friend-with-benefits-when-I-want-it-from-him type friends (you'll read more about him later), and since he treated me to a day of fun for my birthday a couple months ago, I returned the favor today. Was a little disappointed that I didn't make it to the gym (I can get kind of religious when it comes to working out) because we spent most of the day at the movies and hanging out with his daughter, but it was worth it. I'll make up the gym time tomorrow.

Anyways, I said I'd continue with the story of Anthony and when we finally met...

Okay, remember I said when dealing with the whole phone chat thing, the other person's appearance is a gamble? Well, he definitely didn't disappoint in that area..he was tall, nice tan, slender, clean shaved, decent length hair....and blind vision impaired. He had mentioned to me that his ex-wife (whom I didn't find out til later that he was still legally married to, and had 2 kids with her) had shot him in the head a few years previous when they got into an altercation, and the bullet severed his optical nerve, but I didn't realize he had no vision at all. It's always something. I knew then if I proceeded with anything with him that I could kiss goodbye watching sunsets with him, or anything pertaining to us "watching" anything together. At the time, it didn't occur to me that I could leave and never deal with him again, because if that kind of information was withheld from me, then there was no telling what other pertainent information about him I didn't know. But, as I said, I was at a point in my life where I was desperately single, so all of the red-flag stuff was easily dismissed.

So, when he walked through the door with the aid of his walking stick, his sister pointed him in the direction of where I was sitting on the couch. I was smiling, although he'd never know it, and stood up to give him a nice hug. He smelled like a combination of beer and cologne. I let my mind wander to being in bed with this man..his body was warm, and I just felt so comfortable being in his arms. Never mind the fact that he didn't answer his phone when I was trying to call him. After seeing his condition, it's not like he could see who was calling, although I'm sure whoever he was with could tell him. I did, in a non-chalant way, mention that he gave me quite a scare by not answering his phone when he knew I was on my way. He gave me some lame excuse (I don't even remember what it was), and that was that. I bought it.

Skipping ahead, since I was spending a couple of nights in town, we decided to get a hotel room. At the hotel room is where I also found out he had no teeth. Here I was, looking at a full mouth of pearly whites, which he promptly removed from his mouth when we got a bite to eat. Another strike. All of these things that were failed to be mentioned to me, but yet, I'm still sitting in this hotel room, horny as hell, not in a hurry to make the long treck home, and blatantly displaying the stupid side of myself. He didn't necessarily disappoint in the area of sex either. Wasn't anything to write home about, but it definitely scratched the "itch" that I had at the moment.

 At the end of my 2 days there, I took him back to his sister's house, we said our goodbyes, and vowed to keep in touch. I will spare you the details of all of the in-betweens and fastforward to 7 months later, several more trips up the highway to visit him, and him eventually persuading me to move to Oklahoma for us to be together.

That's how I wound up in Oklahoma. I transferred with my at-the-time job, we found a little trailer to rent, and then we broke up a month after I moved here. Come to find out one of the other concealed bits of information was that he was into drugs. Not just the light stuff like marijuana (even though I don't even do that), but hardcore drugs like pill popping, and snorting. I knew he smoked mass amounts of cigarettes, and I guess he could hide his addictions during my "visits", but once I was in his turf on a more permanent basis, he let it all hang out. What he chose to do with his SSI income was his business, as long as he was still shelling out for his half of the bills, but his temper while he was under the influence almost led to some physicalities between us a few times, and that's just something I will not tolerate under ANY circumstances. I got to the point where I'd had enough of it, and gave him the ultimatum of "the drugs, or me"...he chose the drugs. Everyone, including myself, thought that I'd be moving back to Texas when that happened, but Oklahoma had kind of grown on me, and I decided to stay. I'd found a nice church, had moved into a nice apartment, and liked my co-workers at the job, and since I'd never lived anywhere except Texas, I decided to settle in. It was a new, different, and exciting experience. If you had asked me back then if I'd thought I'd still be living here, I would have said no, but here I am..almost 6 years later, still in Oklahoma.

His mom, sister, and the rest of his family were still really nice to me after the break up, but then told me that if they'd known before I moved up that I was really intending to move, they would've warned me about Anthony and his habits. Fine time to tell me. I still talk to his mom, sister, and one of his cousins from time to time on a social web circle, but he's gotten off drugs (good), moved to Alabama, gotten married, bought a house and has 2 more kids. I hear he's doing really good for himself now. Nice. Welp, better late than never.

That was a good year in that town. Then, I took another job with another company, and relocated to another Oklahoma city. That's another post...

Monday, December 19, 2011

Roadtrip

Okay, I won't take you back too far into my life. It will feel like I'm writing an autobiography or something, and that would totally be not cool. Some autobiographies are cool to read, some not so worth it. Though I tend to think my life's story is book-worthy, alot of people's are, so I'll spare you the details. I'll just give you a briefing, and bring you up to speed starting in the not-so-distant past.

I'm a 30-something divorcee, no children, employed, date interracially, own two beautiful non lap-dog dogs, and we live happily in my little mediocre apartment. When I say "we", I'm referring to me and my dogs, whom you will see me call my "children", or refer to them as "Sparkle" and "Twinkle", because I really like sparkly, twinkly things.

After my divorce (a long time ago...another story), I got into the whole phone chat and online dating aspect of dating. Not that I can't meet people in person, but with my unconventional work schedule, it's a little hard to socialize during normal people hours.

So, I met "Anthony" on one of those phone chat lines. This was before actual computer dating sites were big (I'm giving away my age), but long after responding to ads in the local paper (never tried that route). Anyone who's ever dealt with phone chatting knows that the person on the other end's actual appearance is a gamble. But, he sounded super cute, and hell, I was desperately, reboundingly single, so I didn't care one way or the other at that point. After spending a month of daily phone conversation exchange with him, Anthony invited me to Oklahoma to meet him. I was living in central Texas at the time, and had never been to Oklahoma, so I was up for it. On my first available off days after the invitation, I fueled up and hit the highway for that 8 hour drive. Now, about me, I haven't been on an airplane since I was 5, and personally I'm deathly afraid of boarding one as an adult by myself..I'll fly if I have someone that I know to fly with me. Plus, I like road trips. They give me the chance to think, and alot of times I get the oportunity to see sites I've never seen before, or ones that I don't mind seeing again. Anyway, I arrived in his town, and called him to let him know I was there and get directions to where he was.
*WOMEN, this can be very dangerous to do, so I don't advise being stupid like I was. Someone higher was just looking out for me*.
The first time I called, I got his voicemail. We had just talked about an hour before that, so I figured he might just be busy or wasn't around his phone. I waited a few minutes, pulled over to the nearest fast-food restaurant, and grabbed something to eat. When he hadn't returned my call within 20 minutes, I tried to call again, and again, I got the voicemail. I was getting a little pissed by that time, but I didn't want to over-react. After all, I was somewhere I'd never been before, and knew absolutely nobody within 150 miles of the state. So, I relaxed a bit, and finished my combo. In another 20 minutes, I tried calling again..still no answer..so, I began blowing his phone up. I was livid, and couldn't believe that we'd spent that much time on the phone for him to not be answering when I'd made that long-ass drive to visit him. All sorts of crap went through my head
is he ignoring my phone call, did he get hurt or something sometime within 2 hours of us talking last, did something happen to his phone, is he sleep and his phone's on silent.
The scenarios I fed myself ranged from angry to concerned. I was determined to not make this a wasted trip, so, since he lived in a podunk small town, I decided to put on my "Penny" (from Inspector Gadget..again, I'm telling my age) hat, and find out where this Anthony guy lived. By now, I'm wondering if that's even his real name. With nothing other than his name, I went to the local convenient store and asked if the clerk knew anyone with Anthony's lastname. It was a rare lastname, and the clerk was kinda elderly, so I figured he knew everyone in that town. To my luck, the clerk led me to Anthony's sister's house in a remote trailer park residence. I hot-tailed it over there, but wasn't quite sure what I was going to say once I got there
"Hi. My name is R, and I'm looking for Anthony?"
These people would probably think I'm insane, showing up at their house, and probably having no clue who the hell I am. But, as far as I had driven, I was tired and pissed, so I didn't care. I just hoped they'd be nice about the situation, and wouldn't chase me off their porch with a shotgun. Luckily, his sister was extremely nice. I found out that Anthony actually lived with them, and she told me that he'd gone out drinking with their cousins. As to why he wasn't answering his phone, she didn't know, but she offered for me to wait there for him...of course I did. I got to meet her fiance', their 2 kids, and enjoyed some great sweet tea (a weakness of mine), and we got to know each other while I waited. By this time a few hours had passed, and his sister tried calling him again from her phone. He answered. When she told him I was there, I couldn't hear what his response was, but according to the way her tone changed, I could tell he'd probably said something stupid. He was home within 15 minutes.
So, I know y'all (hey, cut me some slack on my verbage..I'm from Texas, darn it!) are wondering what happened at that point...well, I'll tell you in the next post... 

How This All Began

Hello, readers! My name is "R" (of course, you know that's just the initial for my name..if you're going to know all about my life, the least I can do is keep my full name a secret). I can't tell you how happy I am that you've chosen to join this (not totally) jaded (yet) single girl on her many adventures through dating, relationships, and all of the other ins and outs that life has thrown at me.

So, I'm guessing the questions at this point are "where did you come from?" and "what's this all about?". I will answer those, taking you back to the roots, and moving forward..for your reading enjoyment. You have to have the background on what started this native-Texas girl-now-living-in-Oklahoma to blogging. Simple, I've read, reread, pratically stalked other blog sites about bad dates and bad relationships, and can identify with some of my fellow bloggers entirely too well. My way of escape from the haunting torment of dealing with these issues of my own is to...wait for it...write about them. With that, I figure, "hey, why not share my jading experiences with the world and let someone else get a laugh out of it, too?". So the site "not (totally) jaded...yet" was born, because while I'm not totally jaded..yet, I should be, but I still believe (I'm not even sure why) that there's some good guys out there. Where they are is beyond me, but eventually, I'll find that one..hopefully (fingers crossed!)..and my jaded days will be over!

This site came into existence because of a relationship that ended in February 2011, that I had (and sometimes still have) quite a bit of a hard time getting past. So, for any and all who may enjoy reading my blog, you can thank...we shall call him "Allen" for anonymities sake...for breaking my heart and giving you lots of reading enjoyment. Trust me, there are plenty of you that will call me and think me to be (terms I've come to identify with) lame, naive, stupid, desperate, psychotic, stalker, crazy, deranged, etc., and that's okay, because you will see all of those sides of me throughout these posts. You will also get explaination of the title of this blog. You will get to read about Allen, and many other jerks that had their 15 minutes of fame in my life. You'll learn quite a bit about where I come from, and how I operate.

So, sit back, grab your Starbucks frappaccino (the loves of my life), and get ready for this turmoilous trip through the life of R. Any and all of your comments are welcomed pertaining to what you read, I just ask that you keep your insults to a minimum, please, because, really, even though I may be a bit deranged, I still have feelings! I should also warn that some posts may be very graphic, so if you're sensitive to that nature of writing, then maybe you shouldn't read any further.

Welcome aboard..it's going to be a pleasure to entertain you!