This Means War

Anyone familiar with the country song "I Pray For You" will relate to my feelings about Mason right about now. Sven brought to my attention yesterday that Mason had sent him a message on Facebook. In this message, Mason supposedly copied and pasted an alleged conversation that he and I had, namely this last one where I told him to fuck off and not message me anymore. Sven forwarded the message to me and the first thing I noticed was that alot of the conversation text had been changed. Conveniently, the part where I told him "I don't owe you anything....it's been over 1 1/2 years....I've gotten past/beyond that whole situation, just as you need to do...you need to move on with your life just as I have, and I care that you DON'T FUCKING message me ANYMORE" was left out, and some text referring to me being pregnant and tricking him into sending me some money for an abortion had been inserted. And then, some response to that message had allegedly been sent back to me, of course, a message I never got. Ah, Mason. The tricky bastard. I see he wants to take this to another level. Messaging people close to me. I'm so glad Sven has gotten to know me better than to believe this bastard. I asked Sven to message him back and include the fact of not messaging him anymore. If Sven puts it in writing for Mason not to message him again, any further communication will be considered harassment, and I will SURELY be contacting Mason's Major. I realized that's why Mason must have blocked me on Facebook, because he didn't want me messaging him pertaining to messaging people around me with his bullshit, and changing up the conversation in the process. Well enough. What he didn't configure, though, is that anyone that knows me, knows better to believe his shit. Remember I said people like Mason can bring out the manipulative psychotic vindictive side of me? He's doing a good job of making that dormant side want to come out. I laughed it off when I first read the messages, but then my brain started churning. If he messaged Sven, I'm now wondering if he messaged Allen but he just hasn't told me? Not that it matters, because what's done is done, in Allen's case, and he can believe what he wants to believe, but just the thought that this sick, twisted bastard would do this, and for what reason? Because he's mad that I wouldn't give him another chance? Or is he that hard up for money that he's trying to con me into submission and admitting some shit I didn't do for some money that I don't owe him? Seriously, it's been over 2 years now since Mason and I were together, and I've long gotten over him, but it doesn't seem to be the case for him. My gosh, have I spurned a "jilted" lover myself? Do I now have, what I once wished for, someone who wants me so bad they're willing to go to extremes to get back with me or get back at me for shunning them? They say be careful what you wish for, and that hadn't been a wish in a VERY long time, but, if I wished it, maybe it's coming to fruition long after I've stopped wishing that. Whatever the case may be, I'll just be waiting to see what move is made next. Sven agreed to message Mason back telling him not to message him anymore, so now it's a matter of "fuck Mason, unless he messages again". At which point, Mason will be wishing he'd have just gone on with his life and left me alone, like I warned him to, and he'll regret the day he met me. So far, nobody (that I know of) has ever actually regretted the day they met me, but for once in history, I'm willing to make that happen. If he wants to play dirty, I'm coming with full artillery. None like he's ever seen in his "sheltered" military captain career. A bull's horns can be deadly (Mason's a Taurus) and instantaneous, but a scorpion's sting can be more fatal, because, from what I hear, it's a slow, painful death...one so painful that it makes you wish you were dead long before you die. You don't even feel the venom coursing through your veins, until it reaches the major arteries and organs, and then.......B O O M ! ! !.........

And in Forest Gump's words, "that's all I have to say about that".

Yes, Sven. As I said before, we've been communicating. I added him back to Facebook (I'd deleted him the day we broke up), and now, it's a matter of seeing what will become of us. He's made it clear to me that he misses me badly, and yes, I miss him just as much. The door hasn't been closed in that situation. He's the first of any that managed to keep me from closing it on him. I guess because he's a different kind of guy. As I've mentioned before "they shoulda kept me when they had me, cause once I'm gone, I'm gone", but Sven was smart. He seems to have figured me out already. As long as he keeps in contact with me, the door stays open. I hadn't had the opportunity to be "gone" with him. I admit that I was the first to reach out to him after we broke up, but his reciprocation has been the determining factor. After adding him back on Facebook, I saw on his page where he'd left a message for me the day after we broke up "I thought I was ready for a relationship but I wasn't and had to break up. R, if you ever read this, know that I am truly sorry. You're amazing, and I wish I could have been just as amazing for you". Okay, I have to confess, I saw that message the day he posted it, but just didn't want to admit that I was stalking his page. Anyone could've guessed that I was. His page was private (I'd asked him to set it that way because I have some nosey people on my page that would've been stalking his page when we were together), so he had to have made that particular post "public" just for me to see it. For the first time, since my ex-husband, I can honestly say that someone is displaying real love towards me. Not that "fake" shit where the word just gets tossed around like a rag doll, but a true display. I've heard the "L" word out of the mouth of several men, but none of their actions ever matched. I was talking to a co-worker the other day (bad move, I know) about the fact that in 3 consecutive years I've had 3 failed relationships. All within the time frame of January or February. Of the 3, my co-worker told me that Sven sounded to him to be the only one even worth considering, and the other two, I should've told to "kick rocks" the day it happened and never look back. Smart kid. Maybe that's why I haven't been able to let Sven go, because my head and heart both register that this man had/has REAL feelings for me. Lastnight we had one of our hours-long conversations (crap! I forgot to call Wally back!), and we've decided to take things slow. Regardless of where this road may lead, I can surely say that for twice in my life, I was actually LOVED.

My anxiety level has been on the rise a bit lately. I'm trying to buy a house. Enough said for anyone with the experience. Headache central. I had no idea of all the details home ownership entailed. All the damned numbers and figures...nothing like buying a car. I'm excited to be a first-time home owner, and I know the rewards will be great, I just wish I'd been warned of the stress that comes along with the process. It'll all be worth it in the end, though. Thank God my dad has been close on hand to help walk me through it step-by-step. He's a pro in that arena being that he's purchased homes, property and such. Cross your fingers for me!

Justin is history. I guess because I wouldn't "give him any" he decided to explore other terrain. We were supposed to hit the movies together one day this past week, and the day before, I got a text from him saying

"Hey R this is Justin, I have something to tell you and I hope it doesn't make you too upset or angry, but me and my ex have stayed friends since after the break up and we were talking late last night and early this morning and decided we both do still love each other and always have so we are now back together, I'm sorry if this disappoints you and being an inconvenience"

Good riddance. No, Justin, I'm neither upset, angry, nor disappointed. Maybe just a bit baffled by the fact that a woman 14 years his senior is really that desperate for a man, but not that he's moved on...or rather, gone backwards. Again, to each his own on the age difference factor, and I don't knock anyone for their choices in the matter, I just don't see what a woman who's damned near 40 could want with a man that much younger than her (besides the sex), and other than a mother-figure, the same for him. He did express to me on several occasions, though, that his mom was never really a "mother" to him, and outside of the basics of keeping a roof over his and his siblings heads, and food in their mouths, she did little else. Just typing that gives me an idea of his issues. Like they say about promiscuous women and women that deal with alot of men, "they have 'daddy' issues" (it's been thought about me, but contrare. I'm just a rebel), he seems to have "mommy issues". That wasn't a role I was willing to play in his life, so, the best to them.

"Okay. Thanks for letting me know. Take care of yourself"

was my response. He text again asking why wouldn't he let me know, and I responded that was a good question. Maybe because not all men are mature enough to let a woman that they're supposedly interested in know and just disappear. He responded that he's not that type of guy, and he wished me the best as well. Ehn. It was bound to happen sooner or later. As a result of my unwillingness to "put out", my AAA battery supply is depleting. Oh, well. That's why I bought so many.

Nothing from Will lately. I text him the other day asking if he planned to disappear on me again. His reply was an apology, and alot of shit going on. Typical. I haven't bothered since.

Welp, that's my life-to-date. And between all this madness, I'm just working, religiously going to the gym (stress relief), taking care of my girls (the dogs), and living life. I wonder what next week will have in store. You'll know as soon as I do.