For the sake of loneliness, possibly coupled with a touch of mental instability, I reluctantly gave in and decided to have dinner with Ashton one night. I picked him up at the hotel (he'd flown in for the job) and we decided on a local bar and grill in the area. After we placed our orders, we sat in the booth drinking our drinks (I had tea..I didn't want to be mentally impaired and make any rash decisions that night), and he fidgeted with the mini menu on the table. I sighed and decided I wanted to know exactly what his intentions were, and why he was so hell bent on dealing with me.
Me: (hands folded on the table and leaning in) Look, I don't have time for crap in my life. What do you want with me? Why are you acting like you really want to get with me or something?
Him: (leaned in) Hey, I'm not the ogre that you probably think I am. I know sleeping with Chrissy was a stupid mistake, but like I said, she caught me in a vulnerable point, and I just did it. I can't take it back, but I won't repeat that mistake again
Me: Well like I told you, I don't do sloppy leftovers, so if you're going through all of this because you think you're getting in my pants, you might as well give up, because it's not going to happen
Him: (sighs and leans back) Have you talked to Chrissy lately?
Me: (I should have known) Nope. I haven't heard from her since that Sunday night when we were at y'alls place
Him: Well if you had, you'd know that she's been trying to call and text me, but I've been ignoring her. I told you I don't want anything to do with that girl. She was just a quick, easy lay
Me: (laughs and leans back) So in other words, she was too easy, and you want some pussy with a little resistance, eh? Nice. Well, thank you for telling me your agenda
Him: No, it's not like that at all. I told you I like you. Yes, I've thought about how it would be to make love to you, but that's not my reasons for wanting to deal with you. You're beautiful inside and out, and I can't say I've ever come across a woman like you before that's made me feel like I do when I'm around you
(Ah, so he's got some charismatic ways, does he? Think quick, R. He's going to wear down your defenses)
Me: I'm flattered you think that way, but how would you feel if you liked a girl to later find out that she slept with your friend behind your back?
Him: (smiling) So you do like me?
Me: Don't try to parade around the situation. Seriously. Do you see the predicament I'm in? How could I possibly want anything to do with you on any level thinking that I can't trust you with my friends? If you did it with her, what's to stop you from sleeping with another one of my girl friends in a moment of weakness?
Him: I understand your point, and that wouldn't be something you'd have to worry about, because that's not how I work. First of all, I didn't even know you liked me. The way you always seemed so cold towards me, then you tell me you'll think about us getting to know each other, I didn't know where you stood
Me: Just because I like you doesn't mean we'd ever be together. Look, I've been through alot in the last few years, and I'm getting to a point and age where I don't just want to be someone's "booty call". I want a stable life with someone that wants the same with me. Sex would just be a bonus. Are you just pursuing me and throwing all of this stuff you're saying at me because you want to experience being with a black girl?
Him: Who says I've never been with a black girl before?
Me: Well, have you?
Him: No, but that's not what this is about. There are plenty of black women out there that if I wanted to "experience" it, I could. Besides, you're not all black anyway. Didn't you say your mom is mixed or some shit?
Me: Yeah, her dad is white, and her mother was black & native american. But my father is black, so that makes me black
Him: Well, I don't see race or color or anything. I just see a beautiful woman who's got her shit together and a good head on her shoulders and I just want to be a part of her world
(Oh, shit. He's taking it to that level. I quickly felt my guard dropping)
Me: Why, Ashton? Why do you want to be with me? For pete's sake, you live in North Carolina. How would we have any type of relationship? Are you moving to Oklahoma?
Him: If we got to that level, then sure. I could find a job and move here
Me: (speechless by that point. hesitating) Well, I can't promise you anything, but I'm willing to spend time with you to see where it could go. I'll tell you right now, it's gonna be a while before I get over your escapade with Chrissy, so don't expect that you'll be sleeping with me or anything
Him: (smiling and sitting up straight) That's all I can ask for. I can't promise you that I won't try to take advantage of your body, but I'll do my best trying not to
We finished our dinner and decided to take a walk by one of the ponds in town that night, where I decided to let him kiss me. We started to hang together more and more after that, and the longer I hung around him, the more I got into him. This went on for a few months, before my hormones got the best of me.
One night, I went to the hotel to hang out with the guys like I'd done so often before, but Ashton wasn't in Kinley's room with the others. I went next door to his room to see what was the matter. He opened the door looking like he was in a bad mood. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Ah, my son's mom is giving me shit again. She doesn't understand that if I don't work, I can't take care of my son." "So, what's the problem?" "She wants me to come back to North Carolina, like, soon." I was wondering if something like this was ever going to happen. I told him that it sounded to me like him and "baby's momma" were still an item. He assured me that they weren't, but she liked to use his son as a weapon against him to get her way. I was familiar with women like that. I'd seen it time and again, where girl-wants-boy, but boy just wants to take care of his kid. But, some guys will do anything for the mom in order to be a part of the kid's life, whether they're still into the "baby's momma" or not. We sat on his bed in silence for a bit watching TV. Like I'd said, my hormones had started screaming at me by this time. I inched closer to him, and started massaging his shoulders. He moaned and leaned his head back like he was enjoying it. "Take your shirt off, and lay across the bed so I can give you a full massage." He didn't hesitate. He took his shirt off, sprawled across the bed on his stomach, and I straddled his butt to where I had full access to his back. I gave him a nice "you'll never forget this night" massage, and as I was rubbing his back, I started laying soft kisses on it. He reached his hand around to rub my leg. I started kissing his ear, his neck, ran my tongue down his back. He lifted me up, just enough to give him room to turn over onto his back. When I readjusted sitting on him, I could feel that he was definitely game for anything that could go down between us. We had a hot and heavy make out session, he started undressing me, and before I knew it, the television was watching us.
I couldn't think of another time when my body was so in sync with a guy's, and we moved effortlessly together. As I layed in his arms when we were through, I could hear his heart beating. "What are you thinking?" he asked me. "Nothing much. Just that I can't believe I went back on my word and just had sex with you." He gave a slight chuckle, planted a kiss on the top of my head, and whispered "Go to sleep."
I layed there thinking that I couldn't believe I'd just done that. Friggin hormones. When he was sleep, I slowly and gently unwrapped myself from his arms, and got up to get dressed. He woke up and asked "Where are you going?" "Home." "You won't stay the night with me?" "I've got to get to the house to check on my girls." "They'll be okay for the night. Come get back in the bed." He turned over on his side. I could see him looking at me in the dark. "I think I'd better go." He groaned at me, but layed there watching me dress. I kissed him on his forehead, and told him I'd talk to him soon.
On my drive home, I replayed the night in my head. I could get addicted to that man, and I didn't want that to happen, because from the way he talked, I didn't know how much longer he was going to be in town, and if his son's mom had her way, there was no way he'd be moving to Oklahoma any time soon. It was late, but I shot a text to Chrissy that said "I hope you weren't too serious about Ashton." I thought she might've been sleep, so I figured she'd get the text the next day. She immediately replied "No. Fucking his friend." Oh, that girl. I should have known. I didn't know which friend she was talking about, but it didn't matter. I didn't have anything to feel bad about.
Ashton and I got together a few more times over the next couple of weeks. One day, Kinley came into my job. I was surprised that Ashton wasn't with him, because that was so out of character. I greeted Kinley, and asked where Ashton was. He sighed and told me he'd just came from the city dropping Ashton off at the airport for him to head back to North Carolina. That bastard. We'd just been texting the previous night and he mentioned absolutely nothing about going home. Why did I let myself get into these predicaments? I'd developed strong feelings for him, and out of the blue, he ditches me and runs home. I didn't even care as to why, even though Kinley tried to explain to me. I knew "baby's momma" had something to do with it, and if it could've been confirmed for me anymore, Kinley let me know that she had a control over him through that little boy. So much for that ending in a "happily ever after". He could've at least said goodbye.
I didn't even bother trying to contact Ashton, and he didn't contact me. I deleted his number from my phone, chalked that game up to experience, and vowed AGAIN that I wouldn't let myself get into one of those situations anymore. About a year later, I received a text from a number I didn't recognize. "Hey, my sexy lady. How are you?" I looked at the text, and tried to think who the heck it could possibly be. Nothing. I didn't even recognize the area code. "I'm fine, thank you. But who's asking?" "Ashton". OMG. A day late, and a dollar short. By that time, I'd left my job in BoreTown, gotten another job in the city, and had moved on with my life. He claimed he didn't say anything about leaving because he didn't know how to nor did he want to tell me goodbye. Oh, well. His loss. We'd text off and on every so often (until recently when I had to block him from my cell phone because he was getting on my nerves..I had no problems saying "goodbye" to him) over the next few years, but I hadn't thought anything more about anything between us. Kinley and I maintained communication over the years, he's gotten married, and just recently, we've lost contact.
This is where "Jones" comes into the picture.
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