I won't waste much time talking about "Carl". To this day, we've never met, but have been the best of phone friends. Even though he lives in Arkansas, and we're only maybe 3 1/2 hours from each other, for some reason our schedules have never collaborated in 2 years for us to meet. So, while at one point he was a prospect, now he's just a great phone buddy. We talk often, and though there isn't any future (he does have a few issues that raised major red flags for me) between us, I hope he and I will remain friends for time to come.
"Wally" was a different story. His profile name is what caught my attention. He was just a bit older than what I was accustomed to, but his profile description matched what I was looking for. He was handsome, hazel eyes, salt-and-pepper hair, nice trimmed goatee, hard working, wanted children, and the fact that he was a church boy was a bonus. The site that we met on, you have to pay to send messages, so I sent him a smile, just to see if he'd respond. He in turn responded with a smile. He lives in Texas, about 3 hours from me, and being that I don't mind long distance relationships (distance has never been an issue, as far as I'm concerned, when it comes to finding love...hey, that's how I wound up in Oklahoma), I decided to go ahead and pay for a month in order to correspond with him. I sent him a nice little message letting him know how impressed I was with his profile. I waited about 2 days for him to respond, and noticed that he hadn't even read my message, even though he'd been on the site. At the time, I didn't know he had to pay to read and respond to it. When I finally did get a message from him, I was stoked. He expressed interest in me to the degree where we progressed from online to phone conversation that same night. We talked for hours on a daily basis, and I was getting more and more into him. There were a few areas that we didn't agree on, but, because we clicked on alot of levels that were important, we agreed to meet soon. He drove to Oklahoma to see me, and we spent a nice day talking and getting to know each other. Not long into our dinner, he received a phone call. He took the call away from me (uh oh..this isn't a good sign) and came back telling me that his dad had taken a turn for the worse and was rushed to the hospital, so he had to go. Funny, he hadn't mentioned a sick father before. Yeah, okay..of all the excuses. I didn't believe that story at all. I thought it was his way of getting out of dealing with me, but when he arrived back home, he immediately sent me proof of his father being in the hospital, just to show me he was telling the truth. I was floored. Not only did I feel bad for not believing him, but I was also impressed that he went out of his way to prove himself to me. Wally was racking up major brownie points.
We continued to talk on a regular basis, and things were looking up for us. There was a turning point, though, because he had expressed that he likes to see the woman he's dating several times a week, and being that we were 3 hours apart, there was no way that could happen. I was disappointed, because I knew by that, that he and I probably wouldn't progress beyond friendship if I didn't move back to Texas, and at the time, I had no intentions of doing that. Because I consider myself established here, unless it's iron clad that a guy and I are definitely going to be together, I don't want to uproot and have to start over on a "maybe". He was clear about him not wanting to do a long distance relationship, I was clear that I won't relocate unless I'm engaged, so even though we were getting along so well, I knew he wasn't my final stop.
During the time that Wally and I had been talking (before the revelation that he wasn't okay with long distance), I hadn't been back on the dating sites. My profiles were yet active, but I hadn't checked them in a while. That's why I was surprised when I received an email alert that I had a message on one of them. It had been so long since I'd checked that particular site, I'd almost forgotten my login information. I wasn't in a hurry to find out who it was from, so I waited about a week before I checked it.
I normally make it a habit of reviewing a guy's profile before I read his message so I know how to respond. If there are things in his profile that I don't vibe with, then I know to respond in a manner that lets him know I'm not interested. The Military Captain's (we'll call him "Mason") pictures didn't really impress me. He wasn't bad looking, but he wasn't necessarily represented as attractive, either. His profile was "bare necessities" and provided me with little information, so I didn't really know what to make of him. At first, I pondered with the possibility that it was a scam profile (I found out the hard way about those), but then when I did read his message, I knew he was a real person. He said alot more in that message than he did in his profile, and I was thoroughly impressed. Sure, a person can be and say anything they want to online, but my instincts told me, particularly because of him being in the military, that there was possibly some truth to what he was saying. It didn't take Mason and I long to move from the site to the phone. Right after he'd messaged me, he was restationed from a base in my state to a base in Kansas, so had I read his message sooner, we could have possibly met sooner. To top it off, he was deployed soon after.
Wally and I were yet communicating, practically daily, but my romantic attention was being directed towards Mason. There was nothing about Mason that would have lead me to think there was something amiss with him. He was a ranking officer in the military, he had a solid foundation (he bought a house in Kansas as soon as he got there), he wanted a family (divorced with no children), and the first time we webcammed, I found out he was GORGEOUS!! His profile pictures did him absolutely NO justice. Green eyes, tall, well built, buzz cut...dreamy. We webcam chatted on a daily basis. The time zone where he was stationed was 9 hours ahead of mine, so when I'd wake up in the mornings, it would be evening there, and in my nights, it would be mornings there. We'd webcam chat when I'd wake up, and before I'd go to bed, and he'd send sweet emails between those times. So, it wasn't a surprise when he told me that he wanted to come home to me, and wanted me to be his girlfriend. I was stoked. I hadn't met this man in person, and it seemed crazy, but I was totally into him. I accepted being his girlfriend, and he told me not long after we were "official" that he loved me. It had been so long since I'd heard those words (Junior had told me a few times, but I brushed them off with a "whatever") in a sincere form, I didn't know how to react. He was scheduled to be home on leave in a few months, and had expressed wanting me to consider transferring with my job to where he lived. He knew my rule about relocating, so, he shocked me when he asked my ring size and said he'd have a surprise for me when he got home. Things were moving awfully fast with him, even by my standards, but I chalked it up to him being old enough and mature enough to know what he wanted, and he saw what he wanted in me. I've also heard that men in the military like having someone to come home to.
Wally and I hadn't missed a beat in communicating, so I didn't know how to tell him that I now had a boyfriend. I tried to be gentle about it (even beat around the bush about it), but there was no way to do that, and I just had to come out one day and tell him. I hated to disappoint him, but I think he knew in the back of his mind, like I did, that we weren't going any further than what we had based on our wants and needs. At that time, he revealed to me that he'd been seeing someone else (locally) also, but didn't know how to break the news to me. It was a relief on both our parts, so things didn't turn out bad in that aspect. To this day we still talk almost daily, hang out whenever our schedules allow, we are "best friends", and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Now that that was out of the way, I could completely focus on my relationship and possible engagement to Mason. Things were going great, as far as I knew, we were talking all of the time, I was getting flowers on a regular basis, he was constantly sending me gifts in the mail......and some of those "gifts" were my introduction to the world of "toys", and playing with those toys on webcam for him. I'd heard of toys, and I'd seen them, mostly on TV, but I'd never owned any of my own. Inspite of my cousin telling me that no single woman over 30 should be without them, I'd never known enough about them to venture out on my own accord to purchase any. I thought it strange of Mason to just kind of force this sort of thing on me, knowing that I'd never done anything like that before, and he'd get frustrated at my level of uncomfort in wanting to do it. But, as his girlfriend, and soon-to-be fiance, I thought it my duty to make my man happy, and if me doing this for him would make him happy, then so be it, and I'd be happy, too. The more I'd experiment with him on it, the more comfortable I became, and before long, I felt like I'd owned toys forever, and could have been an online porn chick.
Things were going great between us. The countdown for his leave time was on, I'd learned something new, and had even graduated to telling him "I love you, too". I must make mention that when we first met, Mason had asked me if I'd ever done a "3-some" or ever been with another woman, the both of which I've never done, nor will I ever do. I'm no sexual prude, but when it comes to sex, I'll admit that I'm very stingy, and don't want to share with anyone else, woman or man..I want him to be all mine, and I'm all his during that time. Now days, I don't mind having a few toys in on the action, but not another person. He knew my standings on that and never mentioned it again.
I wasn't expecting Mason and my times of talking to go from everyday twice a day, to every other day once a day. He explained it as just being busier, and getting things in order before he came home on leave. I could understand that, and I bought it. What I wasn't buying was when a sinking feeling started coming on. My sinking feeling led me to create a "dummy" profile (I used one of my attractive cousin's pictures..she was okay with that) on the site that Mason and I met on to see if he still had an active account. He did, and he'd been on there. Wow. On this "dummy" profile, I made myself to be a bi-sexual female that was into anything sexual you could think of. I sent him a "flirt", and was VERY disappointed when Mason responded to the flirt with a message that he wanted to chat. Damn. Not only is he still logging into and still paying for this site (I'd canceled my real account when we became "official"), but he's chatting with other women. I played along as this female (I'll call it "Tasha") for a while, and we exchanged Yahoo IM addresses. When Mason brought Tasha onto a live webcam session with another woman he called his "girlfriend" (What the fuck??), that took the cake. I wanted to know as much information about this other woman that I possibly could, so I hung in there until I did. Tasha told Mason that she didn't have a webcam, and he asked for her address to send her one. I made up some address somewhere (I don't know if it was real or not) that I gave him. In the meantime, Tasha found out that Mason and this other woman ("Sandy") had been together for years, and at his request, she would do webcam shows for other women that Mason would bring on to watch. I got her Yahoo IM address and looked up her profile. She lived in Florida. I also looked her up on Facebook. Bingo. They had been together a while...she was even cheating on her dieing husband with him. During the time that Mason and I had met, he and her had broken up. When our communication started dwindling, they had resumed association. You can tell alot from a person's status' when their page isn't private (that's why mine is).
I now had enough ammunition to leave the "good ol' boy" alone. He wasn't savvy to the fact that I knew what was going on, and I made him none the wiser. At least now I had an explanation as to why our talk time had diminished. He was yet wanting me to come spend his leave time with him (I'd already requested time off for his leave), so I decided to hang in there and see how this story was going to play out. (Hey, give me some credit! The man was spoiling me with gifts and stuff!)
Being that I now knew I had a no-good, cheating, lieing, dirty, rotten boyfriend, suddenly, I wasn't so closed minded to other men. "Lawerence" came into my job at just the perfect time.
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