Pretty Little Liar

Lawrence. My best description of him would be a younger, more curly-haired, hazel-eyed version of Paul Rudd, with the humor of Jonah Hill...at least that's what I thought when I first saw him and when we first exchanged words. It was flu season, and he had come to my job in search of flu medicine. I just so happened to see him, and volunteered (again..it's what I have to do when I see a customer) to help him get what he needed. Little did I know at the moment when I asked him "How can I help you?", that days later our mouths would be engorged with each other's, and I'd eventually be engaging in "OH MY DAMN!!" sex with him. From our first date, I craved this man..I wanted his heart, his mind, his body.....his soul. Never mind the fact that he's 6 years younger than me (I'm too young to be considered a "cougar", so I guess the term "puma" would apply), I just wanted to be inside of him...and wanted him deeeeeep inside of me. Every available opportunity. We did alot of experimenting, role playing, anything we could do to keep that passion between us...you name it, we probably did it. And I loved every inch minute of it! But that damned age difference kept me at arms length with him. I won't deny that our age difference bothered me (he was still in his 20s and I'd already taken on my 30s), so in the back of my mind, I knew that we'd never progress beyond the hottest sex I could ever possibly image. I was in search of lifelong emotional fulfilment, he was in search of the next hot party. Don't get me wrong, we had chemistry off of the charts, and sparks that could've set Oklahoma on fire, and he made no secret that I was "his" (in a manner of speaking), and that he wanted to be with me, but I just couldn't see taking it to that level with him. For example, if I said "make a longterm commitment", his response would be "how long are you talking?". He wasn't ready for that. And by the time he would be, I'd probably be long gone. We never had a discussion like that, again, it was just an example. Though Lawrence couldn't give me the longterm emotional fulfilment that I wanted, he didn't disappoint me on the longterm physical fulfilment. We had the agreement that if either of us decided to pursue something with someone else, we'd let each other know. But if things didn't work out on those frontiers, we'd wound up right back in each other's beds. That happened a few times on both our parts.

Now, back to Mason. Okay, so I had a boyfriend. Who was deployed. Who said he "loved" me. Who took care of me and spoiled me. Who was stable (well..financially, anyway). Who had a fetish for corsets, and "naughty school girl" pigtails. Who also had another "girlfriend" in Florida, had a thing for "girl-on-girl" action, and was "chatting" with other women. The first 7 things, I could deal with. The last 3, I couldn't. So, when he came home on leave, I had alot to think about on that 6 hour drive to Kansas. He'd wanted to fly me in there, but my first mind told me to drive, and I'm glad I, for once, listened to my first mind, because you will see why shortly. A week before he was scheduled to arrive home, I hadn't heard from him at all (Lawrence kept me company, though). His excuse, once he'd arrived home, was that he was in transition. Okay, that was understandable and accounting for one week, but what about the week before that when I got nothing? No explanation for that, although I already knew why.

I had requested several consecutive days off from work to spend time with him on his leave. The afternoon that I arrived, I gave him one of the big "I'm sooo glad to see you" hugs, he hugged me back, but I could feel some resistance in that hug. It wasn't a "I'm happy to see you" hug, it was more like a "okay, so you want a hug" type of hug. I backed away, looked at him, concerned, and asked "is everything alright?" He reluctantly assured me that it was, then immediately asked if I was ready to go. Go where? I hadn't even gotten my bags out of the car. He had some errands that he wanted to run, so he was asking if I wanted to go with him or stay at the house and wait for him.
*Okay, I hadn't gone into detail about some of the gifts he'd order online and have shipped to me. The toys, LOTS of lingerie in various styles (some extremely risque) and thigh-high stockings, a few pairs of fuzzy high heeled bedroom slippers, and a couple of nice outfits. One of the outfits he'd sent was a nice dress, accompanied by a pair of almost knee length high heeled boots. He'd wanted me to have that outfit on the day I arrived, with no underwear on underneath. It was snowing and 8 degrees, so I had on a long sleeved sweater, some jeans, some boots (not the ones he'd bought me), and underwear on underneath. The "no underwear" thing threw me for a loop, but I'd had intentions of changing into the outfit when I'd arrived*
I told him that I'd ride with him, and as we rode, he was eerily quiet. Finally, he spoke.

Mason: So, what happened to the dress I asked you to wear?
(What the hell? Your first words to me are about a dress??)
Me: It's in the trunk of the car with the rest of my luggage
Mason: Oh, okay. You look nice, though
(Though?)
Me: Well, thank you. It was alot colder than I thought it would be, so while I was traveling and having to get in and out for gas, I wanted to be warm
Mason: (smiles) Ah. Okay. So, you gonna change into the dress, go sans underwear and flash the waitress at the restaurant for me?
(He'd mentioned something like that when he'd sent me the dress, but I thought he was kidding, because he laughed it off. I'm getting creeped out, now)
Me: I thought you were joking about that. You seriously expect me to flash a waitress? Don't you think that would be inappropriate?
Mason: (smile disappeared) Never mind then. Let's just go get something to eat

He dropped some clothes at a dry cleaners, and made another stop, then asked if I was okay with Chinese food. I was, but the restaurant was closed, so we settled for a steakhouse. It was a nice, rather pricey, brewery/steakhouse. The first sentiment I felt was when the waitress was leading us to our table, and he put his hand on my back. I though he might be lightening up some, but that conversation in his truck had me a bit on edge by that time. We had pleasant conversation during dinner, and when we left the restaurant, he showed me around the town. The first Sherlock Holmes had just come out, and he'd voiced wanting to see it, so I asked him if we were going to the movies that evening. He said he was tired and ready to go to the house. When we arrived back at his house, he unloaded my luggage for me, poured me a glass of wine, turned on a DVD, then stretched out across his couch asking for a full body massage. His legs were already across me, so I started with those, and worked my way up. I was starting to feel a little more comfortable by that time, and he seemed to be relaxing as well. So imagine what went through my mind when he suddenly got up and said "I have a surprise for you". He went into his bedroom and came back out with yet another lingerie outfit. I looked at it for a moment, then asked him when he'd bought it. He supposedly hadn't been back in town long enough to have gone shopping, so I was curious as to how he'd managed this. He told me he purchased it that morning before I arrived. Okay, good answer. When I stood up to take it from him, he kind of hesitated. There goes my sinking feeling. I didn't even hesitate when I asked him "do you want me to leave and go home?" He quickly replied that he didn't, and tried to cover by saying he just hoped it fit. He'd definitely made a very wrong choice in it. It was a nice lingerie piece, sheer, red, lacy...but the damn boob cups were for a woman who had size "A" tits. I'm a "DD". There's no way I was fitting all of this into that, but I tried my best. No luck on keeping these puppies in when I'd bend over to pull on the stockings. Maybe that was his angle.

To say "militant" would be an understatement. He wanted to verbally control every move made in the bed "do this", "don't do that", "stop moving", "okay, switch", "switch again". That was the most boring 20 minutes of my life. I felt like I was one of his soldiers, versus his woman. Several times I wanted to say "Sir! Yes, Sir!" to him, but didn't want to forget that this was actually supposed to be pleasurable. It didn't take me long afterwards to doze off. I'd been up since before dawn, on the road seemed like forever, had been awake all day, and now just faked my way through an orgasm. I was tired exhausted. I had a hell of a time sleeping that night though. I woke up several times, but couldn't understand why. It was quiet (maybe that was it, I'm used to sleeping with the TV on), he was snoring softly, and it was cozy. So why was I having such an eerie feeling and what the hell is bugging me? I think I got maybe 2 hours of sleep before I heard him stirring next to me. Thinking that maybe I didn't give enough of myself the previous night, I rolled over and tried to get a little "morning after" thing going. He pushed me off of him (he did it gently, though), and got up to go to the restroom. When he came out, instead of climbing back in bed so we could finish what I'd tried to start, he started putting on some pants and said "hungry?" with this giant smile on his face. I just layed there, flabbergasted. He started getting dressed and rushed me to get dressed, too. Okay, I considered wearing the dress that morning, but he's being an asshole, so on comes the jeans.

We went to breakfast, and when we finished eating, he disappeared into the restroom for almost 40 minutes. Really. No exaggeration. The waitress came by the table several times asking if everything was okay. It was for me, but he had my keys (we'd taken my car and he'd driven), and I kept looking outside of the window to make sure my car was still out there. I was just about to ask one of the male waiters to go check on him when he emerged and asked me if I was ready to go. I'd already paid the check (hell, he was gone so long, I didn't want the waitress to think we were trying to jump paying), and he got frustrated at me for doing that. I explained my side of it to him, and he let it go. I asked him if he was okay, and he explained his lengthy disappearance as "intestinal difficulties". Yeah, right. I figured he was in there on the phone, jacking off to some other woman's voice. I didn't put anything past him at this point.

He asked me if I wanted to do anything in particular. I needed to stop by a beauty supply store to pick up some hair products I'd forgotten at home, and then asked about the trip to Kansas City that we were supposed to make. He shot down the Kansas City trip, saying he didn't feel like going after all. I suggested the mall, or seeing Sherlock Holmes, to which he said he'd prefer the movies. When he pulled out of the beauty supply parking lot, we passed right by the movie theater. There was only 1 theatre in that town (according to him), so when he kept going, I already knew he was heading back to the house, and knew my time was up there. It was a quiet ride, and when we arrived at the house, I walked in, and was about to take my coat off. I had it right on my shoulders when I noticed the look on his face. As soon as I did, I slid my coat right back on.

Me: This didn't turn out the way you thought it would, did it?
Mason: (looking out of his front window, hands in pocket) R, I don't know. It's not you, it's me
(here we go with that bullshit! I knew it was coming. Maybe he'll tell me the truth now)
Me: Who is she?
Mason: Wha...what?
Me: Who is she? You've been emotionally distant from me this entire time I've been here, and best I can figure is another woman
Mason: (sighs) No, R. It's just that I don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship. I mean, I know I thought I was, but I'm home now, back in my familiar surroundings...I don't know. I'm confused right now
Me: Okay, then
(I started walking towards his bedroom)
Mason: Where are you going?
Me: To get my stuff

He didn't stop me, nor did he help me load my things back in my car, he just watched me the whole time. When i got in my car, he came outside and said "I'm sorry. Can we still be friends?" I gave him a half-assed "yeah". Then the bastard asked me if he could have a hug. I gave him one, and funny, that hug was more sincere than the hug I got when I arrived. I got halfway down the block, realized I didn't know where the hell I was, turned around and went back to his house. That served a two-fold purpose: 1) I needed directions back to the main highway to get my ass home, and 2) I wanted to make sure he wanted to just let me go like that. When I got back to his house, he met me at the door, and I explained my return to him. He gave me directions, told me he was sure he wanted to leave things at that, and then said something that shocked me more than any other words I've heard come out of a man's mouth to me "You need to leave, because you're scaring me". WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT???? I hadn't done ANYTHING to make him feel threatened. After the 18 hours I'd had with him, hell, I should be the one scared! I didn't say anything else, got back in my car, proceeded home, and called Lawrence as soon as I got home. He eased my mind for a while.

That wasn't the end of it for me, though. Like I've said before, I can be vindictive. I knew that if I couldn't get anything out of him, Tasha could (they'd built rapor by this time). That Caress body wash in his shower that he forgot to hide (he uses dove bar soap..he's allergic to perfumes in other soaps), the women's feminine supplies hidden under his sink...at the back under a towel, and the huge box of condoms in the back of his towel shelf didn't go unnoticed. Someone else had either been there, or was supposed to be there, and I had an idea who it was...just had to make sure.